Wednesday, February 24, 2010

In which I almost pass out. . .

Got on my blog today and Hey! Two comments on my last post! Wow.

Then?

Oh. My. GOD! It's Stephanie Snowe! On my blog! Holy Hell!

{{breathing into a paper bag}}










Okay. A little better now.


Yes, indeed, to respond to your comment Ms. Snowe, he was quite a douche. Actually, that gives douches a bad name. What is worse than a douche? That's him. Second doctor was great but had to go and get married and move to North Carolina. Or South. I could Google stalk him and find out.

Third doctor is quirky. Likes to tell stories -- draw weird diagrams to explain things, and often gets off track. But he's into natural things as a first try, which I like. Because Prozac? Gave me issues in the, ummm. . . bedroom. But it did take care of the rashes I was getting because of the chemical imbalance so I guess it was a decent temporary trade-off.

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For those of you who don't know why I freaked out about Stephanie Snowe commenting on my blog you can find her here:

www.stephaniesnowe.com

Freaking hysterical. And thoughtful. And pissy at just the right moments. And inspirational. And a PUBLISHED author!

Go read her.

(I'm putting her on my blog roll right now -- I had her 'favorited' on a different computer. )

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Tired. As usual.

I have been tired for the last 10 years. To the bone, painfully tired.

I was diagnosed as being severely hypothyroid almost 10 years ago, right after giving birth to my third child in three years. After I had him, I had to find a new GP, so I picked a name out of a hat. One of my biggest concerns is that the weight wasn't coming off like it had with my first two. I never lost it all, but I'd get down to a certain point and stay there. Until I got knocked up again. But after Gil, I lost an initially 25 lbs or so, then it started creeping right back up. And I was so exhausted that I could only unload one rack of the dishwasher before I had to rest. So this GP took one look at me -- a 2 month old, a 19 month old, and a 34 month old and told me, "You need to get off your butt and do something. And stop eating the food your kids leave on their plates."

Yes, a doctor told me I was simply lazy and fat. No tests -- just get off your ass and quit being a disgusting pig.

Thankfully he ended up being out-of-network so I had to find a new doctor.

Went to a chiropractor in the meantime who told me my thyroid was slightly enlarged and I should have it checked.

Found a new doctor, he wasn't convinced (probably had the three little kids = fat/lazy preconception) but he ordered blood work.

Three days later, the office nurse calls me and tells me to hold on -- the doctor needs to speak to me, it's urgent, and she's supposed to get him the minute she gets me on the phone. Ummm. . . commence freak-out! In the 60 seconds I waited I had the entire scenario worked out. I definitely had cancer and was dying. It was all over in my mind.

Of course, minor over reaction. He told me I was indeed hypothyroid. In fact, my TSH level was so high, their large, teaching practice had never seen it that high in person. They'd read about it in textbooks only.

So started my journey along the path of thyroid hormone replacement. It has sucked. That doctor told me if I had to have a chronic condition, this is the one to have. But I have never felt well, and have seriously struggled with my weight (not all my thyroid's fault but still. . . .) 10 years is a long time to struggle with continuous fatigue. It wears on my self-esteem, my kids, my family, my home. I've tried two different synthetics, two different dessicated pig thyroid brands, and now a compounded, personalized version which I happen to like best. I worked out like crazy (but would spend all day recovering), did protein diet shakes, lost some weight and it all helped me feel better about my looks.

But energy still eluded me, which caused my doctor to up my vitamin D, vitamin C, vitamin B complex, and supplement with an iodine blend.

Still tired. And looking like it might be Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, depression, or lack of productive sleep.

So now we've added melatonin and magnesium to help me relax and sleep, in case grinding and poor sleep is causing my fatigue. He tested to make sure I haven't developed chronic asthma, is testing for anemia, b-12 deficiency, vit. D deficiency, my thyroid levels, and has ordered a CBC. He's added 5-HTP to help my brain produce serotonin in case clinical depression is the issue (with my past it's possible!) And, most exciting, he's prescribed B-12 injections in case it is CFS. I hear tell B-12 injections are da bomb!

As I head down this crazy, supplement riddled path I'll keep you all posted about how I'm feeling or if anything seems to be working. I get my first shot tomorrow (Katie -- if I can't do it myself I'll need to see you tomorrow afternoon at some point!) Hoping I feel the effects sooner rather than later.

The crazy thing is, if something works, with adding all of these things at once, how will I know which it is?

Monday, February 22, 2010

Sorry I erased you

For all my followers (all TWO of you!) I somehow erased you. Umm. . . this is awkward. . . if you still want to be my friend, can you re-follow me? Or something.

Just think of it as being on the cutting edge of a trend. You're both trendsetters!!

A puckle!

Is it wrong to mess with your kids' minds? Not, like, telling them you have breast cancer before your biopsy results come back, or telling them you're having repeated heart attacks or strokes when it's just heartburn and sleep apnea. Not that bad. But, letting them make up a word and then encouraging them to use it because it's so darn cute?

When Little Louie was 3 (I can't believe he just turned 7!) he discovered the word, "Couple." As in, "If you have two cars, you have a couple of cars." His mental wheels went 'round and 'round and he asked me, "If two is a couple, then what's three?" Before I answered he exclaimed, "I know!! A PUCKLE!"

O-kay. We'll go with that!

So for about a year everyone in the house would count: One, two, puckle, four, five. . . . The goal was to see how long it would take for him either realize or have a preschool teacher inform him that the word 'puckle' did not mean 'three.'

Sadly, I'm not sure when it ended. I might have to blame Sesame Street for working the 'puckle' out of him.

But it sure was cute while it lasted!

Friday, February 19, 2010

My first blogroll! (and other tidbits)

Was going through the blogs I follow today and happened to look at the blogroll on Nine Kinds of Crazy. Opened up Stepmothering, then had a 'Whoa! Wait a second!' moment. My blog is listed on her blogroll! My first ever. I know I have a few readers -- my daughter-in-law, Sharon (from Nine Kinds of Crazy), and someone who thinks I hate my children because she loves her dog more. But to be on a blogroll? It almost felt like my little corner of the internet just blossomed from pretend to real life.

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Working on potty training the 2 1/2 year old. The Bear is kicking my butt on this one. He's shown me he's willing to give up everything he loves (candy, tv, toys, paci) to avoid pottying on potty. And before someone tells me, "Maybe he's not ready!" trust me -- he's ready. He wakes up dry in the morning. When I sit him on the potty, he'll hold it for HOURS until I have to put him in a diaper to leave the house and promptly use the diaper. The kid is ready, but not willing. I know it will eventually happen, I just wish he was a bit more of a people pleaser at this moment.

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Working on planning a baby shower for my daughter-in-law. Her mom and I and her three friends were going to do it, until Biomom called. The fact that she called to be involved surprised me. I was nice and we agreed to do the food together. The thing is, historically she hasn't proven very reliable about helping with events -- except for food. Financially and work-wise, it's been my husband and myself carrying the load.

So, to keep her in the loop I sent her the jpeg of the shower invite. (designed by Sara Luke at A Life Less Ordinary -- http://lukecommasara.blogspot.com/) Little Red had 100% input on the design and wording. And chose to have baby's name put on the invite. Biomom? Calls me and tells me I'd made a mistake on the invite -- I'd put the baby's name on it and the kids aren't telling anyone what they're having until after the shower. Ummm. . . . they've been telling people since January 8th. Where have you been? Typical.

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Anyone know how to deal with a 7 year old who can't seem to stop lying? I'm a little scared that this is going to be something he doesn't outgrow.

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Gil and Belle both received special Valentines from special someones. Belle's wasn't a surprise -- in fact she had been working on staining and varnishing a box for her Valentine. Gil? We had no idea. It's the little sister of Belle's 'friend.' Gil was sweet and made her a ponytail 'tutu' to reciprocate. And Billy-bob was invited to his school's Valentine's Day dance by his crush. How -- WHEN? -- did this happen? When did they get old enough for this?!

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If anyone can share with me how to create a blogroll on my site, how to put links to past posts or other posts (you know -- the ones where it's highlighted and underlined and you just have to click to go to that site?) I'd appreciate it. The fact that I'm able to get a post to show on my site amazes me. Not the most computer literate person.