Tired. As usual.

I have been tired for the last 10 years. To the bone, painfully tired.

I was diagnosed as being severely hypothyroid almost 10 years ago, right after giving birth to my third child in three years. After I had him, I had to find a new GP, so I picked a name out of a hat. One of my biggest concerns is that the weight wasn't coming off like it had with my first two. I never lost it all, but I'd get down to a certain point and stay there. Until I got knocked up again. But after Gil, I lost an initially 25 lbs or so, then it started creeping right back up. And I was so exhausted that I could only unload one rack of the dishwasher before I had to rest. So this GP took one look at me -- a 2 month old, a 19 month old, and a 34 month old and told me, "You need to get off your butt and do something. And stop eating the food your kids leave on their plates."

Yes, a doctor told me I was simply lazy and fat. No tests -- just get off your ass and quit being a disgusting pig.

Thankfully he ended up being out-of-network so I had to find a new doctor.

Went to a chiropractor in the meantime who told me my thyroid was slightly enlarged and I should have it checked.

Found a new doctor, he wasn't convinced (probably had the three little kids = fat/lazy preconception) but he ordered blood work.

Three days later, the office nurse calls me and tells me to hold on -- the doctor needs to speak to me, it's urgent, and she's supposed to get him the minute she gets me on the phone. Ummm. . . commence freak-out! In the 60 seconds I waited I had the entire scenario worked out. I definitely had cancer and was dying. It was all over in my mind.

Of course, minor over reaction. He told me I was indeed hypothyroid. In fact, my TSH level was so high, their large, teaching practice had never seen it that high in person. They'd read about it in textbooks only.

So started my journey along the path of thyroid hormone replacement. It has sucked. That doctor told me if I had to have a chronic condition, this is the one to have. But I have never felt well, and have seriously struggled with my weight (not all my thyroid's fault but still. . . .) 10 years is a long time to struggle with continuous fatigue. It wears on my self-esteem, my kids, my family, my home. I've tried two different synthetics, two different dessicated pig thyroid brands, and now a compounded, personalized version which I happen to like best. I worked out like crazy (but would spend all day recovering), did protein diet shakes, lost some weight and it all helped me feel better about my looks.

But energy still eluded me, which caused my doctor to up my vitamin D, vitamin C, vitamin B complex, and supplement with an iodine blend.

Still tired. And looking like it might be Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, depression, or lack of productive sleep.

So now we've added melatonin and magnesium to help me relax and sleep, in case grinding and poor sleep is causing my fatigue. He tested to make sure I haven't developed chronic asthma, is testing for anemia, b-12 deficiency, vit. D deficiency, my thyroid levels, and has ordered a CBC. He's added 5-HTP to help my brain produce serotonin in case clinical depression is the issue (with my past it's possible!) And, most exciting, he's prescribed B-12 injections in case it is CFS. I hear tell B-12 injections are da bomb!

As I head down this crazy, supplement riddled path I'll keep you all posted about how I'm feeling or if anything seems to be working. I get my first shot tomorrow (Katie -- if I can't do it myself I'll need to see you tomorrow afternoon at some point!) Hoping I feel the effects sooner rather than later.

The crazy thing is, if something works, with adding all of these things at once, how will I know which it is?